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smalltrolven

The Wanting Comes In Waves

All Sam/Dean, All The Time


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smalltrolven

Fic: Your Voice Is Rapping On My Windowsill



A Dean-focused h/c fic & art challenge
[Click on the image to go to the challenge.]

Banner courtesy of kalliel

Fic title:     Your Voice Is Rapping On My Windowsill

Author name:    [info]smalltrolven

Genre:   pre-Wincest, Bonded Boys, H/C
Pairing:    Sam/Dean

Rating:     G

Word count:     5,800

Characters:    Sam, Dean, Bobby
Warnings:    Set in season 2 after “Simon Said”
Summary:    Dean’s getting debilitating migraines every time Sam uses his psychic powers, Sam figures out how to stop the headaches and the brothers reach a new understanding.
Disclaimer:     I only own these words, that’s it, nothing else.
Authors Note:     Written for prompt #95 by [info]mysticwaters for the hoodietime Dean-focused H/C Challenge

Title from the Radiohead song “Scatterbrain” from Hail to the Thief

Read it here on AO3.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



It isn’t the same this time, not just a nagging small headache he can pass off as nothing unusual, maybe the straggling remains of a hangover, maybe too much driving straight into the afternoon sun, maybe a few too many pieces of that sour candy Sam’s always buying.  What it is, well it’s a Headache with a capital H that doesn’t leave much room in his brain for anything else.  He feels like he’s been pushed out of his head by it, there isn’t a place left for him in his own head.  He can’t even think of how to get beyond a headache like this, where every sound is a weight crashing onto his eardrums, an unbearable pressure that doesn’t let up, every light is an assault to his whole body, not just his eyes.  Everything is just too much.  And Sam’s got one too.  Great

Stumbling through the motel room, without opening his eyes, good thing they’re all laid out about the same, trying to find a bottle at the bottom of his duffle that has a few more ibuprofen, four for him, four for Sam.   Lying down with a cool washcloth over his eyes, one for him, one for Sam.  Waiting, and waiting some more for the meds to kick in and dial this pain down to a more manageable level.  But it doesn’t happen soon enough, and the nausea kicks in, there’s too much to deal with at once and there’s no food to eat to settle his stomach, and no one to go get any because Sam’s as bad off as he is

And how the hell did he end up with the same damn headache as Sam anyways?  Usually it’s just him playing nursemaid while Sam recovers from one of his visions, but this time, Sam had mumbled something about having to use another power.  His brother the budding psychic wonder.  Another power, what in the hell does that even mean, death visions and telekinesis aren’t quite enough, there’s another one they’ve got to deal with too?  Enough with the whining to himself, it's not productive and not restful.  They both seem to drift off as fighting off the headaches have completely worn them out.  It’s not a deep sleep, but it’s better than lying there awake with a railroad spike being driven in and out of his skull.

ldquo;Sammy you doin’ any better?” Dean asks as he struggles up out of bed in the late morning light.

“Yeah, a lot better, how about you?”

“Well, I can open my eyes at least, so that’s an improvement.  So what the hell happened anyways?”

“You know how I said that I had to use another power this time, well I think that’s what did it.”

“What’s this new power, you haven’t told me yet.  And why the hell do I have a headache too?”

“It’s uh, I guess you’d call it mind-reading.  It took everything from me to do it, I don’t know if I somehow used you too, maybe that caused the headache.  I have no answers dude, sorry.”

“Wait a minute, since when can you do mind-reading?  This a new thing or what?”

“Yeah, I hadn’t done it before yesterday, and I needed to when we were in the middle of that fight, otherwise I wouldn’t have known what the witches were planning to do next, we wouldn’t have made it out of there.  And somehow I just did it, but just barely.  I’m sorry if it affected you too, I don’t see how that could happen, guess we better figure it out.”

“Well, that’s a handy one, and I hope you’re not going to use it all the time.”

“You mean like using it on you Dean?”

“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”

“No I wouldn’t, of course I wouldn’t, c’mon man give me some credit.”

“Okay, I do.  So how do you think this mind meld thing worked, you just tapped into me somehow to get the extra juice to read their minds?”

“I guess, something like that.  I’ll do some research, see what I can come up with.  Are you feeling well enough to go get us something to eat?  You could really use some caffeine, helps with headaches you know.”

Dean’s about to get up when he realizes that he can’t, he really can’t, “No I’m really not, can you go?”

“Sure I’ll go be the hunter/gatherer this time.  I’ll get us some more Advil since we’re out. ”

Sam brings him a newly cold wet washcloth for his head, Dean looks up gratefully with one cracked-open eye, “Just hurry it up.”

“I’ll be back soon, and I’ll figure this out.”

“You’d better if you know what’s good for you.”

Sam leaves as quietly as he can, because he can see Dean flinching in pain at every little noise that he makes.  As he’s waiting for their takeout at the Chinese place, idly watching the goggle eyed goldfish swim back and forth in their dirty tank he starts thinking about Dean’s headaches lately, and how they’ve been syncing up with when he uses his newer psychic powers.  There’s a connection, a pattern, definitely, now that he really starts to get detailed remembering the last few weeks.  There was the job where they met Andy, Dean had a bad headache for at least a day afterwards, that was the first time he’d used the mind control trying to get Ansem to leave Andy alone.  After that he used the mind control thing again on the people that had the ghoul chained up in their basement back in Atlanta, Dean had had a terrible headache for two days after that.  But Dean hasn’t had a headache at all when it’s just the death visions, that’s when Sam gets one.  Dean only suffers when Sam uses the other powers.

Sam’s surprised to find that he’s not surprised that there’s a link between his psychic powers and Dean’s headaches.  Of course, it’s just their luck.  Probably some curse they’ve had for a while from some witch or something that they just haven’t dealt with.  There’s got to be some way to stop it because it doesn’t seem like there’s a way for him to stop using the powers, the visions come when they come, and the other ones he’s discovered have only been used under duress in emergency situations.  Not like you can plan for that.  But having to bake in time for Dean to recover from a debilitating headache each and every time is going to definitely cut into their non-existent leisure time between jobs.  Plus he’s a whiny bitch when he’s not feeling well, not that Sam can blame him.  These headaches are pretty bitch-inducing and Sam really doesn’t like to see his brother suffering, especially if it’s his fault that Dean’s in pain

He calls Bobby on his way back to the motel room and gives him the lowdown on the new powers he’s discovered about himself and also the whole headache thing.

“Humph, well I’m not surprised, cause of what John had me do to you boys a long ways back when you were eight and four.”

“What? Did to us? What do you mean?”

“Oh of course, the idjit would’ve never told ‘ya.  I told him I wasn’t doing it unless he promised me he’d tell you boys when you were old enough to understand. Damnit.”

“C’mon Bobby spill.”

“Fine, but don’t blame me, he was threatening some of my contacts with police harassment for some of their extra-curricular farming activities, your Dad had a buddy at the DEA.”

“Alright fine, just tell me already.”

“He had me do a bonding spell on you boys.”

“A what?”

“You heard me, a bonding spell.  Like I said I didn’t want to and I tried to talk him out of it, but he’d convinced himself this was the only way to keep you two safe and keep on hunting with you.  I don’t know, but I think that psychic, Missouri might have put the idea in his damn fool head. So you two are bonded permanently and I’d imagine that’s why Dean’s getting the headaches when you’re using your powers.”

“That’s great Bobby. Just fucking great.  So how do we undo it? Dean can’t deal with these headaches and it’s not like I can get rid of these powers somehow.  “

“Not a reversal as far as I know.  You boys will have to figure out how to deal.“
“That’s so helpful, thanks a lot.”

“Hey I’m sorry boy, I warned your dad that there might be unforeseen consequences like this, but he just couldn’t see past the end of the week, much less years down the road.  Always did have a short view of the future.  Hunting’ll do that to you if you’re not careful.”

“Any suggestions Bobby?  If we separate would that help?”

“No that would make it worse I’d imagine.  The way most bonding spells work, staying close is much better.  Let me look up the exact spell I used again and call you back.”

Sam reluctantly returns to the motel room, not wanting to give Dean this horrible news, but he has to.  And there‘s his poor brother in the exact same position on the bed he left him in, possibly asleep, but with a big crease across his forehead, this is the one he makes when he’s in pain but trying to pretend otherwise.  Sam knows Dean’s face better than anyone else’s in the whole world.

He puts all the food out on the table and gets it organized so they can eat, then leans over and gently shakes Dean.  “Food’s here, want to try and have some wor wonton soup, take some more Advil?”

Dean’s eyes open reluctantly and squint against the light, Sam goes to turn off the overhead and turns on the bathroom light, partially closing the door so there’s just enough light to see by.  “That any better?”

“Yeah, thanks Sammy.  You’re back fast.” Dean says weakly, pushing himself up slowly to sitting.

Sam walks over with a glass of water and more Advil and hands it to Dean, “I was gone almost an hour, place took forever, plus I was talking to Bobby.”

Dean takes the glass and the pills and tosses them back, looks at Sam gratefully and asks, “Yeah, what about?”

“He has an idea about what’s going on with the headaches.”

“What’s that?  Didn’t know it was something worth telling him about.”

Sam gets the cartons of soup and hands one to Dean with a spoon, sitting down on the bed next to him, “Yeah, I was thinking about it while I was waiting on the food and I figured out that you’re getting the headaches whenever I use my powers, every time.  And it’s getting worse the more times I use the heavy-duty ones, anything besides the death visions, you get slammed. He told me that he did a spell on us when we were little, Dad made him do it, a bonding spell Dean. “

“What. The. Hell?!”

“I know, right? It’s crazy, but it was to keep us safe somehow.  Guess it’s worked so far.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Well you’re still here and alive and so am I, so I guess that counts as working.  He’s going to call back with more of the details on what we should expect.”

“Bonding spell huh, that why I can’t get rid of you?”

”Guess so.”

“Well that explains a lot.”

“Like what?”
“Well like how we can do the mind-reading thing we do and the silent communication and all that stuff that always freaks everyone out.  It’s probably all from that spell.”

“And here I just thought we were freaks or something.”

“Well, we are that for sure, but apparently we’re bonded freaks as well, whatever the hell that means.”

“How’s your soup?”
“Oh, okay, thanks for getting something that wasn’t too spicy.”

“Yeah I know it’s tough when you’ve got a headache like this to stomach your usual choices. Just looking out for you bro.”

“Thanks Sammy.”

“Hey you know maybe this can be a good thing now that we know about it.”
“How do you mean?”

“Maybe it’s something we can learn to use when we’re on a job.”

“Like you want us to practice or something?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if it’ll work or not, but it could come in pretty handy if we trained ourselves.”

“What you’re not feeling close enough to me already?”

“No, it’s not that, we’re more than plenty close, believe me.  I just think that if we can do the telepathy thing more reliably it might be a good thing.  You know if we get separated by something or someone.”  It flashes through Sam’s mind that most things they encounter instinctively seem to know better than to come between them.  It’s the people that are the trouble, or the demons, they seem to always use their closeness against them.  Time to turn that around and make it a strength instead of a weakness.

“How are we going to do this Sam?”

“Well, if your headache is better, I have an idea of something we can try.”

“Yeah, I’m feeling pretty good, what do you have in mind?”

“Well, you get the headaches when I use my powers right? So I figure I’m using our bond to somehow pull enough power to boost me, or something like that.  I thought we ought to try the other way around.  You try and get power from me. ”

“As far as I know, I don’t have psychic powers though Sam.”

“I know that Dean, but maybe you can access mine through our bond.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

“I just have this hunch that it will balance things out, and maybe you won’t get the headaches if we’re drawing on each other instead of me just pulling from you, just humor me and try it.”

“Alright, how do you suggest I get into your brain Abby Normal?  Can you describe how do you do it to me?”

“Well whenever I do, I’ve been under stress, or it has been an emergency. So it’s not controlled, which might be why it affects you more than me. Like I’m being rough and just taking what I need from wherever I can get it.  But just sitting here trying it in a more controlled way might work for you. How about you work on picturing moving this chopstick off the edge of the table?”

Dean nods and locks his eyes on the chopstick and compresses his face into a painful grimace.  Letting up after a while with a gasp.  “Not working.”

Sam rubs his hand gently on Dean’s shoulder, “Don’t try so hard, go gently, relax, breathe, open your mind, try to flow into it, think about connecting to me first.”

Dean rolls his eyes and huffs, “Okay yogamaster.”

Dean locks eyes with Sam this time, searching his face, falling into those familiar multi-hued eyes, feeling welcomed and safe and just together, hearing his brother’s soft voice whispering in his head “you can do it Dean, nice and easy, just try it.” Dean pulls his eyes away to the chopstick and looks at the edge of the table.  The chopstick moves slowly as if it’s being pushed by an invisible finger and falls off onto the dirty orange carpet.

Dean shoots his arms up in the winner’s victory pose, and crows, “Look at that, I did it!”

Sam high fives him excitedly, “You did, I can’t believe it worked!”

Dean chucks him in the arm, “Hey, how’s your head feeling Sam?”

“Fine, I could feel a little tugging, but it was, well I’d call it gentle.” Sam smiles at Dean a little shyly, because of this sudden intense intimacy of letting his brother in so close past the walls they usually keep up between them.

“Well alright then, I guess this idea of yours works.  And it didn’t make my headache come back, so that’s got to be a good thing right?”

“Yeah, of course.” Sam answers a little hesitantly, Dean sees his brother is holding something back.

“Hey, what’s up? Thought you’d be happy you were right on this one.”

“Oh, I am happy, I’m really glad it worked Dean.  I’m just worried.”
“Out with it Sam, c’mon you know you’ll tell me eventually.”

“Fine.  I’m worried that now that we know we’re bonded that everything is going to change.”

“Why would everything change Sam?”

“Dean, think about it, now that we know we have this most-likely permanent connection, how are you ever going to find someone to be with?  You know to get married, have a life, all that stuff.  If it was hard enough being apart before we knew about the bond, think of what it will be like now.  We won’t be able to ever separate.”

Dean takes a deep breath, thinking hard about how to get out of answering this, because it’s not something they ever talk about, he always figured Sam would leave him at some point, want go back to school and all that.  Sam’s even said as much, and Dean’s been dreading it, honestly not ever wanting to be apart again, those years Sam was gone at Stanford were pretty close to unbearable.  He momentarily struggles with answering in a way that would let Sam off the hook, lie to him about it being okay to leave, but with this bond thing now, it seems like honesty is really going to be the better choice.  For once he’s going to just say what he really feels, and take the consequences like a man, “Sam, I know this might come as a shock to you.  But I’m not looking for that apple pie life.  I’m really not.  Not if you aren’t.  As far as I’m concerned, I like my life the way it is right now.  And maybe it’s because of the bond, maybe it’s not, but I like this.” He indicates with his hand back and forth between them.  “Whatever you call this, it’s good, it works, we get our job done, we have some fun, nothing needs to change as far as I’m concerned.”

Sam doesn’t say anything for a long time, just sits there immobile, searching Dean’s face to see if he’s joking, to see if he really means what he’s saying.  Sam can’t remember ever wanting anything so much in his whole damned life.  Dean raises his eyebrows at him impatiently, so Sam sighs and responds, “Dean I don’t know what to say.”

“Dude, I’m not like asking you to marry me or anything. What’s the big deal?”

“Just, did you really mean what you just said?” Sam wants him to say yes so much he can practically taste it, takeout wor-wonton soup for the rest of his life, just him and his brother together, living this solid unbreakable bond until the end comes for both of them, there’s nothing else he can imagine being better than that

Dean puts on his serious-I-really-mean-it face when he realizes that he may not be asking Sam to marry him, but he is pretty much committing to be with him for the long haul, in this tight bonded togetherness, and there’s really nothing else he wants more, “Yeah, of course I did.  Sam you know I wouldn’t joke about something like this.”

“Ok then, I agree.”

“Agree with what?”

“That this is a good thing we’ve got going and we ought to keep on the way we’ve been, just practice this bond thing and see if we can use it.”  Sam’s trying not to get too emotional, because he knows it will just bug the hell out of Dean, he tries to keep his face from showing how damn happy he is.

Dean sees the happiness on his brother’s face before he hides it and smiles because he’s feeling the same way, happy about the whole thing, but one question remains, “Yeah, okay. What about the mind reading though?”

“We’ll just agree not to do it on each other, unless it’s required by some emergency situation.  Just like we don’t dig in each other’s duffle bags, something has to be off limits since we’re always together you know?” Sam says simply, as if it should be obvious.

“Got something in there you don’t want me to see or something Sammy?”  Dean teases.

“You have no idea.” Sam deadpans in return.

“Oh I have my guesses.” Dean decides to just leave it hanging like that because they both know what he’s referring to.

“Should we practice mindreading to make sure we can do it if we need to?” Sam’s pretty sure Dean will be able to do it, and he’s honestly not too worried about what his brother will see in his mind, even though they’ve never talked openly about it, they both know what the big unsaid thing between them is about.

Dean decides to not give in to his curious nature for once, “Let’s leave that til the last thing, okay?”

“Fine, we’ll work up to it.”

“Besides the death visions which I really don’t want to practice sharing thank you very much, what else do you want to try?”

“Well there’s the mind control thing.” Sam tells him, realizing in that second that he hadn’t told Dean that he could it, not wanting to freak him out any further than he already was, especially after hearing the truth that Andy had pulled out of Dean about how worried he was about Sam and his powers.

“Sam, you can do that?  Since when? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Not too long after we met Andy, maybe it was being around Andy and Ansem, but it just kind of came to me how to do it.  I haven’t used it very much though.”

“Well thank god for that, or else I would have had more of those fucking headaches. When did you use it and on who?”

“Whom.”

“Whatever.  Which poor sucker did you mind whammy?”

“Uh, well you.”

“Oh that’s just great. What the hell Sam?”

“What?  I thought it’d be better to not involve a civilian unless it was necessary.”

“What did you make me do?”

“Choose Indian food instead of pizza, back in Des Moines.”
“That explains it, god I hate curry.  So was it hard?”

“No, you were pretty easy.”

“So you’ve said before.”

“Ha fucking ha, go ahead, try it on me, then we’ll be even.”

“Just think about making you do something you normally wouldn’t?”

“Yeah, don’t push, just go real gentle like you did with moving the chopstick. Connect with me and then make it a suggestion instead of a command.”

Dean sits up straighter, locks onto Sam’s eyes again, sees him smiling encouragingly and relaxes into the idea of making Sam do something, asking, suggesting, not telling or commanding, the first thing he thinks of is the laundry, they both hate doing it, and it’s Dean’s turn, so yeah, he thinks at Sam,” it would be great if you did the laundry today Sammy.”

“Nothing, huh? Well, I’m going to go get some laundry done while you rest up a little more, that headache looks like it really took it out of you.”  Sam pats Dean on the shoulder and stands up.

Dean lays back on the bed, hands behind his head, grinning a little too triumphantly, “Stuffs in my bag, you know where.  Thanks Sammy.”

“No problem, want anything while I’m out?”

“I don’t know, something sweet I guess, you know what I like.”

“Tell you what, when I’m gone, I’ll call you from the Laundromat, and you can try sending me a picture of what you want.”

“You mean psychically or Bluetooth?”

“What do you think Dean?”

Dean can’t stop grinning, it really worked, he really got Sam to do the laundry, this is awesome, “Alright I’ll try it, call me when you get there.&rdquo

He settles back down on the bed, snuggling in for a nap before Sam has even gotten out of the door.  With his eyes closed he can hear the familiar sounds of Sam moving around the room, sighing and breathing just like he normally does, the familiarity lulls him into that pleasant, relaxed almost asleep state, so many years together with these same sounds and rhythms.  But Dean can feel something else now, just out of reach, now that he’s looking for it, off to the side in his mind, there’s some other information he could be getting about Sam and what he’s doing or thinking, if he just tried a little bit, so he does, he pulls at something that seems like a tempting waving string, gently tugs on it to see what pops out and it’s a picture he receives from Sam, no it’s more like a video.  Of Sam putting down the laundry bags and taking off his boots and crawling into bed next to him, holding Dean around the waist, pulling him in close and snuggling in for a nap.  Dean starts feeling really warm all over at the idea, it would feel really really good to be held like that by his brother, he starts to want it a little more as he watches himself driftd off to sleep in Sam’s arms.

Sam’s head snaps up suddenly, just as he’s walking out the door, “Dean what the hell are you doing?”

Dean opens one and looks up, answering in a cranky voice, “Trying to take a nap, what’s it look like?”

“That’s not all you’re doing, you were mind-reading me. I could feel you tugging.”

“Sorry, I really didn’t mean to.  It was just there, like a string hanging out getting my attention and I pulled on it and I saw.”

“That’s okay, just don’t do it again, we agreed remember?”

“Alright sorry.  Well?”

“Well what?”

“You taking a nap with me or doing laundry or what?”

Sam smiles shyly, knowing now that he’s been caught out, his brother saw what he’d feared, that what he most wanted to do was not leave and go do the laundry, but to lie down next to his brother and hold him close and fall asleep.  And now Dean’s inviting him to do just that. “Dude, your sudden urge to do laundry came from me, so don’t use that as an excuse.”

“That was you huh?”

“Yeah, guess I’m pretty good at this borrowed psychic thing.”

“Guess you are.  So you saw what I was thinking, about taking a nap, uh with you?”

“Yes I did and would you lie down already?  I’m sleepy and I really want that nap now so quit your stalling and get your ass over here.”

That’s not mind control though.”

“Nope. Completely up to you Sammy.  But remember, you’re the one that thought of it first.”

Sam puts down the heavy laundry bags near the door.  Starts pulling off his boots, eyes never leaving Dean’s, waiting to see if he’s teasing or putting him on, but all he sees is warmth, his brother’s well-loved open easy face that is now untroubled by the pain crease in the forehead, the eye crinkles instead are threatening to put in an appearance.  “Alright I’m coming, hold your horses.”  There they are, those beautiful lines that go along with his brother’s smile

“C’mon Sam, nap time awaits, hurry it up.”

“Don’t rush me, I just want to get these boots off and out of the way.” Sam finishes and crawls up on the bed next to Dean, putting his arm around his waist and pulling him in close as he lies down, sighing happily into the hair at the nape of Dean’s neck.  “There that better?”

“Great, just like you pictured right?”

“Yeah, just about, except for this.”  Sam moves his head slightly so that instead of his nose being buried in the nape of Dean’s neck his mouth is there instead, and he kisses Dean exactly once, wetly, loudly and with a finality that rings of inevitability. Dean just shivers and holds onto Sam’s hand that’s there, low on his belly.  They breathe together for a while, in, out in, out, until his shivers are over, even though Dean can still feel the imprint of where his brother’s lips touched his skin.  He could swear it’s a glowing bright beacon, that anyone will be able to see, *ThisIsWhereMyBrotherKissedMe!* but really all it’s doing is sending this light and heat through his whole body, filling up all his cold corners and he just doesn’t care about anything else, whether it’s wrong or right or what anyone else will think, it’s good, it’s them, so what?

Sam breaks the comfortable silence, speaking quietly into the back of Dean’s head, “I’m glad you’re okay with this.”

“With what?”

“With me holding you like this.”

“It feels good.  What’s not to be okay with?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t sure if you’d like it.  Let’s just go to sleep.”

“I’m most of the way there, you’re so warm.”

Sam gathers him in even closer, “Just call me your own personal hot water bottle.”

Dean shakes with a little laugh, “Whatever dude, let me sleep.”

Sam laughs sharply, “That a command?”

“It’s gonna be pretty soon if you don’t let me.” Dean growls.

“Fine fine.” Sam starts humming into the back of Dean’s neck.
“What are you humming dude?”

“Oh sorry.  I do that when I’m happy sometimes.”

“Yeah, duh, I know that Sam, just you never did it in my neck before.”

“I’ll stop if it’s bothering you.”

“Naw that’s alright, feels kinda nice.”

“Hey Dean?”

Dean sighs, he knows what that ‘Hey Dean?’ means, Sam wants to Talk with a capital ‘T’.  “Yeah, what?”

“I’m glad we figured out this headache thing, I was really worried about you. I hate seeing you in pain like that when I can’t really help you.”

Dean twists a little in Sam’s arms so he can look up at Sam’s face, “I know, but you did help, you brought me Advil and water and made me lie down and all that.  But yeah I’m glad we know how to stop it now.”

“Are you glad about the other stuff too?”

“You mean about getting to be psychic when I want to? I don’t know if I’m glad, it’s still a little freaky, but I suppose I’ll get used to it.  How about you?”

“I’m still getting used to the idea that we’re bonded.”

“Yeah, me too. Pretty wild huh? Guess dad thought he knew best.  Bobby sound mad about it?”

“Uh huh, he told me how Dad basically blackmailed him into doing the spell on us.  He said we were eight and four.  You remember that at all Dean?”

“Naw.  I can’t ever remember feeling differently about you.  You were always my responsibility.” Dean twists back and resettles in Sam’s arms.

“That’s it then, I’m your responsibility?”

“C’mon Sam, you know that’s not all it is.”

“Yeah I know, but what else is it?”  Sam whispers, his heart in his throat, not wanting Dean to answer, not wanting him to refuse to answer.

Dean feels the bond now, an insistent pulse beating between them, he holds onto it in his mind to give him strength to answer his brother truthfully, “I don’t know really, everything I guess.”

“What’s everything?”

“You are Sammy, at least to me you are.” Dean squeezes Sam’s hand, pulling it in tighter to his belly.

“That makes two of us then.” Sam squeezes back, kissing Dean’s neck once again, in the same spot.

Dean chuckles, “No crying in my hair goddamnit.”

“Fuck you, ‘m not crying, I’m happy.”

Dean turns back to look up into Sam’s smiling face.  Once again Dean is reminded of how damn simple it is to make his brother happy with just a few words, Sammy’s so easy that way.  Why does he find it so hard to do that when it gets him that smile?  God that smile, he’d do anything for that Sam smile, including telling the truth no matter how mushy it happens to be.

“Yeah, me too.” Dean reaches up to brush his lips gently across his brother’s, then lays back and relaxes into Sam’s arms, they both drift off to sleep easily, resting comfortable with the warm bond that pulses between them.



  • 1
Awww. This was very sweet.

Thank you, I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed it!

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