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The Wanting Comes In Waves

All Sam/Dean, All The Time

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fic: Burn So Bright (Sam/Dean, NC-17) Chapter 5B of ?

Back to Chapter 5A


“You take shotgun, Jack,” Jody said, pointing at the front passenger seat.

“That means riding next to the driver,” Sam said, starting up the car.

“This is the seat you usually have,” Jack said, squirming around in the front passenger seat. “It is shaped to fit you.”

“Yeah, Dean’s the one who likes driving the most, so I let him do it unless he’s falling asleep on a long drive,” Sam said. “Put your seatbelt on, like this,” Sam said, showing Jack how to pull it across his body and click it closed.

Once the doors were closed Sam took off with a big rooster-tail of gravel and dust that would probably piss Dean off, but it very much impressed Jack going by his enormous grin.

Jack watched every movement Sam was making as he drove, Sam tried to talk him through the details of driving. As he went through the spiel, he vaguely remembered both his father and Dean giving him the same instructions.

“I like this machine,” Jack said, as Sam sped up down the two-lane road along the lake’s edge.

“It’s like our home, my dad raised us in here, on the road. It was the only place we had that was ours for a very long time.”

“This car talks, I can almost hear it telling me the memories. This was where you and Dean first had sex,” Jack said.

“Excuse me?” Jody asked from the back seat. “Jack, that might me a little tmi, too much information.”

Jack turned to look at Jody, head tilted in curiosity. “I’m sorry, did you not know? I just assumed you did, that everyone who met the saisch who are nor-quashi would know, as it is so obvious,” Jack said, sounding very confused.

Jody didn’t say anything until they stopped in the parking lot of a small grocery store. Once the engine noise died down she cleared her throat. “You should have told me, Sam. I mean, I thought we were friends,” Jody said, sounding very sad.

Sam turned around to face her, stomach convulsing with dread, he was desperate not to lose her, they needed her in their lives. “I wanted to tell you, Jody, I really did. But I promised Dean I wouldn’t. He didn’t want to risk losing you,” Sam said. “I tried to convince him that you wouldn’t cut us out if you knew about us. But we’ve never been able to be honest with people who know us. He knew you meant too much to me. Just being the protective ass he always is.”

“Sam, I pretty much always knew. Bobby filled in a couple gaps for me. I tried a couple times to bring it up so you guys could drop the act in front of me. But I could tell you didn’t want to go there. I’m glad it’s out in the open now,” Jody said. “I know enough hunters now that it’s just—not even really that weird.”

Sam waited until she got out of the back seat then he wrapped her up in a big hug. “Thank you, for understanding, Jody. I don’t think…”

“I get it Sam, I love you guys, no matter what,” Jody said with that motherly ferocity they’d finally heard from their own mother just the other night. Before she’d gone after Lucifer with those angel-knocking brass knuckles.

“Have I made a good thing happen with tmi?” Jack asked, watching them over the car roof with concern and hope.

Sam let Jody go and stepped back a bit, he looked at her and smiled. It was weird, but he felt lighter inside, not having to carry the weight of the lie anymore. And getting to experience some unconditional love on top of it. Not a bad day’s work for Jack and his tmi. “Yeah, you did good, kid,” Sam said, smiling at Jack.

“Sam, what is that on your face? No—now it is gone,” Jack asked, flustered and alarmed.

Sam touched his face with both hands and heard Jody giggle.

“I think he means your dimples, Sam,” Jody said.

“Oh, yeah, it’s actually a defect where the muscle is adhered internally to the skin, so when I smile, it makes that indentation which is called a dimple. Some humans have them, some don’t,” Sam said.

“Yours are beautiful, Sam. Because they mean you are smiling,” Jack said.

“Something we don’t get to see nearly enough of that is for damn sure,” Jody said. “Now, let’s get in there and get shopping. Those fish aren’t going to fry themselves, much less prepare any side dishes.”


After they got done with the messy task of preparing all the fish and got themselves cleaned up, Jesse went upstairs to poke around. Dean heard a woman’s voice speaking loudly, and realized it was Kelly’s. He ran upstairs, worried that her spirit had appeared to haunt them and burst into the nursery where Jesse was sitting in the rocking chair holding a tablet. He walked over and saw the video Kelly had recorded before giving birth. The woman might have been deluded by Satan himself, or who knows maybe she was right. He sure hoped it was Cas and Kelly who turned out to be the best futurists.

When the video finished, Dean leaned against the crib which wobbled a bit and then slowly fell apart into a pile of wood pieces. Dean found the Ikea instructions and laughed a little, trying to picture Cas and Kelly trying to put the thing together.

“She really loved him didn’t she?” Jesse asked.

“Yeah, she did, and I guess she really believed in all that awesome future for mankind stuff too. Sure hope she’s right about that.”

“Maybe seeing this would help push him onto the right way of seeing things. You know, his mother loving him enough to sacrifice herself for him to be born. Hearing her say what she expects him to be able to do for the world,” Jesse said.

“You really think that would help?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, it would. The things my birth mother told me, that day I met you guys. They stayed with me, and the stuff you guys said too. It kept me from going over to the dark side, which was plenty tempting a lot of times.”

“I bet it was, I think you’re pretty damn awesome, kid. Doing that all on your own was no easy thing,” Dean said.

“Thanks, it’s been hard, growing up on my own. I really miss my parents. I send them an anonymous postcard whenever I’m leaving a country. Hopefully they know they’re from me. I wish I could see them, even one more time.”

“If I ever had a chance, to be with my folks, man I’d take it, every time,” Dean said.

“They must hate me by now, or they’ve forgotten me,” Jesse said.

“I doubt that very much. They probably miss you like hell and worry about you every damn day,” Dean said, remembering every single time he’d ever been separated from Sam

“You really think so?” Jesse asked, looking so young in the moment, Dean’s heart ached for him. This kid had suffered unimaginable loss and come through it so strong and balanced. He could have gone wrong so easily.

“Yeah, I do. If Sam had disappeared at age eleven, I honestly don’t know what I would have done. It’s hard to imagine the level of hurt when someone is just gone.”

“Huh, I guess you were kinda Sam’s parent, I hadn’t thought about you that way. So I suppose you’d know how a parent would feel.”

“Sam and I, we’d go with you to see yours if you wanted us to. We could help you talk to them, help explain things.”

“But I don’t want to endanger them, remember? That’s why I left in the first place, why I’ve never talked to them again, except for the postcards. Hopefully those were safe enough.”

“You’re still worrying about demons tracking you down, right?”

“Yeah, and don’t forget the angels too. With how upset everything seems on both of those planes, I’m surprised they haven’t caught me by this point. I’m always on the move so that nothing can track me.”

“How about you come back home to the bunker with us, stay for a while. We’ll get you hooked up with some blocking wards for angels and demons. Then we can go with you, give your folks the happy news they’re getting their son back.”

“I don’t...I’m not trying to go back to how things were. I just want them to know that I’m ok. Does that make me a bad son?”

“Nah, no way, Jesse. They’ll be so proud of you, what you’ve done is amazing. Staying a good person, even though you have this tremendous power. It’s really something.”

“Thanks, again, Dean. That means a lot coming from you,” Jesse said.


They heard the distinctive roar of the Impala as it pulled up outside, so they dropped the veering towards sappy talk to go help unload the supplies.

As everyone walked in, Dean held Sam back. “We found a video that Kelly made—for Jack,” Dean said in a quiet voice.

“Are we showing it to him?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, Jesse thinks it’ll help put him on the right track. He said he always remembered what we told him that day about making choices. That it helped him stay on the good side,” Dean said.

“That’s pretty cool to hear, that what we said back then helped Jesse. I hope it works for Jack that way too,” Sam said.

“Yeah, I think there’s a chance of that, but who knows with him, he’s all over the place. Seems like the last person he talks to has the most influence on him.”


Jody got Dean and Jesse started on making some potato pancakes and home-made tartar sauce then joined Jack and Sam upstairs in the nursery.

“Jack, there’s something we need you to see. It’s a message your mom recorded for you,” Sam said, handing Jack the tablet. “Just push that arrow button.”

Jack pressed it and Kelly’s voice filled the room. He listened and watched so intently Sam thought the tablet might explode from his concentration. The room began to pulse red-orange again.

“Jack, I know this might be upsetting, but we need you to turn it down a little please,” Sam asked in his calming voice that Jack had complimented him on earlier.

Jack tore his eyes away from the screen and looked up at Sam. They blazed yellow in the dim room and Jody gasped with surprise.

“I didn’t know she…” Jack trailed off and bowed his head, the power in the room seemed to dial back down to normal levels.

“She really loved you a whole lot, kid,” Jody said. “But I think you already knew that.”

Jack looked at her and nodded slowly. “I did know that, yes, Jody.”

“What she said, about you making a better world for us, that’s what our angel friend believed too, it’s why he was went against us to help your mother,” Sam said.

Jack’s eyes clouded up with tears and he nodded slowly again but obviously was too upset to speak.

“You want us to leave you alone?” Jody asked, standing up from her crouch near the rocking chair.

“Yes, please,” Jack said. “Thank you for showing this to me.”

Sam and Jody left the room and closed the door behind them. They could hear Kelly’s voice as Jack restarted the video.

“You think he’s going to be okay?” Jody asked.

“I have no freaking clue, but I hope so,” Sam said as they walked down the stairs.


The kitchen was filled with noise and light and so many great smells, it was almost too good to be true, Dean thought, smiling as he sat at the table taking a break with a beer watching Jody show Sam how to cook the right kind of beans for a fish fry. Since it wasn’t a meat dish, Sam was of course all over it.

“Hey—uh, guys—Jack’s gone,” Jesse said at the kitchen doorway, eyes a little wild with worry. “I think he got upset about seeing his mom on the video.”

“I thought you went up there to check on him,” Dean said, his stomach tightening with dread, the kid had gone Lucifer Junior earlier than he’d been expecting.

“I did, and when I got there, he was talking too fast in Enochian to himself for me to make out what he was saying. And then he just poofed out,” Jesse said.

“What makes you think he was upset about the video?” Dean asked.

“Ever since you showed it to him, he was doing this vibration thing that I think only I could feel since none of you mentioned it. I could feel it even downstairs, it was weird, it wasn’t something I’d felt before.”

“We saw him cry this morning, and he almost did when we showed him the video just now. Did you see him showing emotion like that before he left?” Sam asked.

“No, I didn’t see any tears, nothing like that. I think the vibration was him trying to keep his emotions in check,” Jesse said.

“Gee, where would he would have possibly picked that up, I wonder,” Jody snarked.

Dean and Sam mock-glared at her. “Hey, we were trying, okay? But it’s hard to let go of the tough-guy act all at once,” Dean said.

They all gasped at the sound of the Impala’s roar as she was driven away down the driveway and onto the road. Everyone dropped what they were holding and ran outside to catch a last glimpse of the dust the car’s exit had left behind.

“He didn’t just go poof, he stole Baby! He doesn’t even know how to drive!” Dean yelled, waving his arms wide in frustration.

“He was watching me really closely and asking tons of questions when I was driving to the store,” Sam said. “I gave him the rules of the road spiel that you gave me.”

“Oh great! So he’s going to drive like you, I’ll be lucky if she makes it back in one piece!” Dean yelled, continuing to wave his arms. Sam stepped back a few steps and didn’t try to stop him.

“Dean, I think you need to slow down here, take a breath or something. Just stop taking it out on Sam,” Jody said. “It’s not his fault."

Dean stomped off, muttering to himself. “Thanks for trying, Jody, that’s always his reaction when anything happens to the car. I know better than to take it personally by now.”

Jody and Jesse went back in the house and Sam stayed behind, staring out at the water. He sent his mind and thoughts and prayers out to Jack. Willing him as strongly as possible to stay good, to be good. He even prayed to Chuck to help keep Jack on the right track. That’s all they were left with at this points, thoughts and prayers that the son of Lucifer would choose to remain an ally of humanity and not its ultimate destruction.

Chapter 6 posting tomorrow