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The Wanting Comes In Waves

All Sam/Dean, All The Time

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Southern Comfort, More Like Southern Unease

This last episode really got to me in all the best sorts of ways,

the whole thing was great, I loved the MOTW storyline and how it echoed so perfectly where we find Sam and Dean's relationship.  With the added bonuses of Garth and his heartfelt tribute to Bobby, and a great musical montage (Soundgarden yes!), but most of all the delicious brother angst even if in the big scene it was forced by the spectre and not not naturally occurring.  That's mostly what I keep coming back to, the possessed Dean scene.  We've only seen him like this once, himself, but not in control, in 4.14 Sex and Violence when he's under the spell of the siren, Dean said things out loud that he'd never say in a million years, and did things that he'd never consider doing.  He was going to kill Sam in 4.14, except for Bobby's intervention he would have smashed him with the axe. Same thing in this episode, he would have killed Sam if Garth hadn't been there, guess he really is taking Bobby's place.  And like it or not, Dean accepts that Garth is doing that by the end.

I had to keep reminding myself during this scene, this is not Dean, this is not how Dean looks when he's just angry at his brother.  Dean does not normally have green goo coming out of his ears, he's possessed.  This is a special case.  He doesn't really mean the words that are coming out of his mouth.  They may be thoughts or feelings that are inside of him that the spectre is accessing or using or emphasizing or twisting, but they are not the thoughts and feelings that he'd ever share willingly with Sam.  There is no way that Dean hasn't forgiven Sam for Ruby and the Soul-less year, he said he had at Rufus' funeral. Blank slate.  He knows that the demon blood and being soul-less weren't truly choices that Sam made.  We all have thoughts and feelings that we never express, for many reasons and under supernatural influence when Dean is forced to spill them all in a sort of mind-rape situation it has devastating consequences.  There's a damn good reason we don't ever say out loud half the stuff we think.
8.06 dean brother
When I saw Sam lying there, beaten down, about to be shot by his possessed brother who is yelling all the worst-case scenario things he's always worried that Dean really truly feels deep-down, I was surprised to see him just stop fighting and kind of give up.  
It seems like he's lying there hearing all of this and just taking it as if it is his just punishment for something.  
He knows that Dean lying about Benny doesn't compare to his not searching for him the last year.  
Sam has some reason  he's not telling Dean what really happened.  
And it's got to be worse than Benny for Sam to not get angry at what he's hearing from Dean, because he doesn't get angry. He just looks resigned which is a million times sadder to me and makes me think there's something else we don't know yet.
8.06 sam brother
But god, that last thing that Dean throws at Sam is the worst "Benny has been more of a brother to me this past year than you've ever been! That's right. Cas let me down. You let me down. The only person that hasn't let me down is Benny."  That's probably the most devastating thing Dean's said to him since saying you were a monster all those years ago. How in the world can he get over the hurt of hearing that?

 All Sam has at this point is being Dean's brother.  He has nothing else in his life that's worth anything, just him.  

And Dean doesn't understand that Sam's world collapsed when he was gone because Sam hasn't told him that. He told Amelia that, but not Dean.  If Sam said that same sentence to Dean that he did to her, "Look, I lost my brother, Dean, a few months ago. It felt like my world imploded and came raining down on me, and... I ran. Just like you."   it would change everything.  But Sam's not going to is he? Because now he's so hurt by what Dean said under the influence of the spectre that he won't see the point.  

How are they ever going to get past this if Sam doesn't see the point in telling Dean what really happened after he disappeared?

But what I want to know from Sam, is what happened "a few months ago" hmmm?  A few months is what 2 or 3 out of the year he was apart from Dean, what was he doing for two or three months?  Just driving around not looking for Dean? Really? I still don't see how he got from the end scene of 7.23, standing in a goo-splattered Sucrocorp lab with your brother disappeared with Cas to hitting the dog and running into the animal hospital in 8.01.  Knowing what happened in those few months is crucial for we viewers and for Dean, otherwise this season 8 Sam does not any make sense with the previous 7 seasons character.  He's just as "off" as he was in the first half of season 6 when he was soul-less,

In that last scene in 7.23, Crowley told Sam that Dick was dead, that it was up to him to keep the remaining Leviathans from organizing, Kevin had told Sam their evil plan, all of that was still in motion and wasn't just going to stop because Dick Roman was dead.  As Crowley says Sam's got a lot on his plate.  

And Sam asks Crowley "Where are they?" he doesn't ask if they're dead.  His first question of course is Where is Dean? And his second is Where are they?  Because he can tell they went somewhere, they did not explode like Dick Roman did.  So they're somewhere else, he is not assuming that they're dead. And of course the logical place would be Purgatory.  Now we saw in seasons 6  and 7 that there were very few resources of info on Purgatory, so Sam wouldn't have a lot of places to research.  But he has at least three supernatural beings that he knows how to contact that would likely have information, Crowley, Death and the AlphaVamp.  I would think that summoning Crowley would be the first and least thing he'd do.

I just don't see how Sam, our Sam that we've known for seven seasons, is going to walk out of that lab, get in the banged up Impala and just start driving.  No way.  He's too responsible, he's too stubborn.  He would at the very least take care of the Leviathans if he didn't try looking for Dean.  Has he even told Dean about that? Has Dean even asked?  I could see Sam turning into a Leviathan killing machine, taking them out one by one, to take his mind off of Dean being gone. 

So I think the reason Sam just laid there when possessed Dean was about to kill him is because Sam really thinks he deserves it. Sam must be hiding something from Dean about what he did during those months before Amelia.  Something big and bad.  My favorite theory right now is that he did make a deal with someone to get out of hunting in order to get Dean back.   Sam would hide that for as long as he possibly could, he would even let Dean believe he hadn't looked for him.  He's not saying anything straight out (neither of them are), he's never really answered Dean or defended himself because he really can't.   I see some of the strange swings in Sam's behavior from detached to unhinged and back again being a result of this.  

I'm going to remain hopeful to the end that they'll deal with this somehow, some way.  Because I want this show to still be Supernatural you know?  

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I really like this idea that there is something that Sam can't say. It makes some kind of sense for me. I'm really struggling with the boy's dynamics this season, I don't know. Show!!!!! please start to make some sense!

Interesting theory. For now, I'm willing to stay in suspense, and hope we eventually find out more. I agree that Sam just lying there like he'd given up, waiting for Dean to shoot him, was both hard to watch and so very sad -- and a bit off too. Hmmm.

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