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The Wanting Comes In Waves

All Sam/Dean, All The Time

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Fic: Down Below (Sam/Dean, NC-17)

Title: Down Below

Author: smalltrolven

Pairing: Sam/Dean

Rating: NC-17

Wordcount: 2,300

Summary: Coda to 11.10, "The Devil is in the Details". After they walk out of Hell, here's what happens on their short drive home.

Author’s Notes: Not my characters, only my words.

Read it over on AO3


Sam falls asleep much more quickly than usual. And Dean is thankful, so very thankful for that. Because his brother’s answer to the usual ‘are you okay’ status check question was very much out of character. i.e. way too honest. Usually they say they’re fine when they ask. And the only time they answer differently is if they’re truly wounded, perhaps mortally. But Sam’s wishy washy vague answer has got Dean worried about what went on with Lucifer before he’d gotten there. Time moves differently in Hell, so who knows how long Sam was really stuck in there with the pissed-off angel.

Sam’s face isn’t evened out and smooth in sleep like it should be, it’s scrunched up and his shoulders look painfully contracted. Dean reaches over to rub at one of them to try and signal Sam’s body to relax, without awakening him.  Sam’s response is to flail all his limbs, hitting Dean’s hand away and knocking his head into the window. He doesn’t wake up all the way though, and resettles with his head on Dean’s shoulder instead of the window.

That’s how Dean can hear it, Sam’s murmuring. “No, it’s not like that. No, I said no. I won’t let you. No. Not ever. No.”  Sam’s saying no over and over again in as many ways possible as Dean can imagine, and then a few more.  It makes his heart ache just listening to it. Was that all Lucifer had wanted? To possess Sam and walk on out of Hell? Or had there been even more to it? His stomach takes a turn over on itself as he thinks of the possibilities.

He feels awful that he has to stop driving to refuel, but he hadn’t bothered to fill up on the way out there, in the all-consuming rush to get Sam out of the Cage. Luckily, it wasn’t a long way back to the Bunker from Keneshaw, hour and a half tops. He’s pretty sure Sam would want to recuperate back home. That they even have a home is a miracle that he’s still not through being thankful for. Not to any deity in specific of course, just a general thankfulness sent out to the universe. He’s also extremely grateful that Sam has come to think of it as home also, as well as the Impala. For a while there, he’d thought he was going to be living there alone. But they seem to have hung in there together, despite all his recent fuck-ups. Sam’s endless capacity for forgiveness is the key there. And whoever blessed Sam with that particular trait has Dean’s undying gratitude.

Getting out of the car without making too much of a racket takes a few extra moments, but Sam seems to keep sleeping on. Dean refuels and even stocks up on some snacks and coffee for the last short leg of their journey.  The rustling of the plastic bag rouses Sam, but not all the way. He sleepily rearranges himself, head on Dean’s extra jacket bundled up on Dean’s thigh.  He’s always marveled at the way Sam can coil himself onto the seat and wedge his long legs so that he can still relax enough to actually sleep. Dean’s never been able to figure it out. That’s one of the reasons why he always drives. And crashing out in the back seat is just too far away to be peaceful either.

Before Sam falls all the way back into sleep he mumbles something that makes the hair on the back of Dean’s neck stand up at attention. “Lucifer was right.”

Dean struggles with not saying anything but loses when Sam’s jaw trembles in fear.  “Sam, Sammy. You’re just dreaming. And Lucifer was never right about a damn thing. You beat him Sam, twice now. You won.”

“I won. Right….” Sam murmurs, then falls back into unconsciousness.

Dean feels the weight against his leg increase as Sam’s muscles release into deeper sleep. He runs his right hand through Sam’s tangled hair, undoing the knots as gently as he can. Maybe he can talk Sam into a haircut when they get back. He’ll pretend it’s part of a spa recuperation package or something. Anything to get Sam to take some downtime and actually rest. They both need it after that fight in the Cage.  Being in there with Lucifer just that short amount of time was terrifying. And he’d had two allies with him. Sam had spent how long, with no one at his side, coming out of there haunted and hollow. That his brother struggled back to being well enough to hunt again is no minor miracle. Sam’s a trooper, always has been. And he will be again.

“You’re amazing, Sam. How you stood up to him and said no, how you survived and came back to me. I know I couldn’t have done it, look how long I lasted against Alastair, right? But you, you’re god-damn amazing.”

Sam grasps the hand that Dean still has wrapped up in his hair and squeezes gently, stilling Dean’s movements. “Thanks, Dean.”

Feeling embarrassed to be gushing over his brother like that Dean mumbles, “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“’s alright. I wasn’t really sleeping that deep. Besides, ’s nice to hear, you know?” Sam snuggles his face against the side of Dean’s thigh and takes a deep breath. “I said no to him, no matter what he showed me, no matter how many different ways he asked, I just kept saying no. I didn’t want to undo it all.”

“I’m proud of you, little brother. So damn proud. We might be bruised up from fighting him, but we’re out, we’re free, and he’s still stuck in there where he’s gonna stay.”

Sam starts to sit up, seeming energized by Dean’s enthusiasm. He stretches his arms over his head and walks his hands back up the headliner towards the back seat, sighing into the stretch. Dean restrains himself from tickling his exposed armpits.

“You ever get that feeling after a conversation where you think of the perfect thing you wish you’d said, but it’s too late?” Sam asks, wrapping his arms around himself and holding his elbows.

“Sure, of course, lots of times. Why you come up with a zinger for Lucifer?”

“I don’t know if I’d call it a zinger, but yeah. He was trying to mess with my head so I’d say yes, showing me memories and talking about how the problem is that we’ll do anything for each other. Ignore the world to save each other. And yeah he’s right, it is a problem, obviously it is. But it’s true, and we both know it now.  But what I wish I’d said, to him, was that I see it as our hidden strength. That it’s how I beat him the first time and how I was going to beat him this time.”

“And then you did just that.”

“Yeah. Hey, we uh driving all the way home tonight?”

“I was planning on it, only about an hour or so more, why?”

“I was just asking.”

“You still doing okay, Sammy?” Dean asks, worrying that Sam’s not really be honest about what he needs.

“Like I said before, I’m not sure. I mean, I went to Hell yesterday, and now I’m back here with you and so much happened in-between.”

“Now that’s the understatement of the year. Hey, I didn’t tell you yet, I got to meet Billie. She’s the one that got me into Hell.”

“Thanks for that, by the way. You coming back into Hell. I know that must have been hard for you. And I’m sorry I screwed up so that you had to do that.”

“Sam, cut that shit out! You didn’t screw up a damn thing. Rowena fooled all of us, even Crowley. I just wish I’d been there with you the whole time.” Dean looks over at Sam for a longer moment than he should, given that he’s driving. But he has to make sure that Sam is listening. Sam nods so that Dean will relax, but Dean can tell there’s more to it.

“No, but really, Dean. I mean it, thank you for going there for me. If you need to talk about it or anything, I’ll…”

“There’s nothing to say. It wasn’t the sticky, red part of Hell that I saw before. Didn’t even sound the same, guess we were in a different part of it or something.”

“It wasn’t the same for me either. The Cage I was in with him and Michael, it was endless, never found a wall the whole time I was there. Confined in cold, empty, endless nothing. Down below.”

“Down below?” Dean asks, dreading the answer, but still feeling compelled to keep Sam talking.

“That’s what He called it, Lucifer, he called where we were, Down Below. One time he described it as the last level between Hell and the Big Empty. That’s why it was so cold.”

“The Big Empty, that’s where Billie said she was throwing us when we…uh, die for good this time.”

“I’ve been trying not to think about that.”

“I don’t think it’s fair. Not after what you sacrificed. You should still get a pass into Heaven,” Dean says, the unfairness of the rules of the afterlife never cease to piss him off.

“Wish you made the rules. But what about you? Don’t you think you should go there too?” Sam asks, sounding like he’s about to start yelling.

“Naw. Pretty sure I’m off the list since I was a demon and all,” Dean answers, trying to deflect so that Sam won’t get angry.

“But that doesn’t wipe out the rest of it. We need to appeal or something,” Sam says, curling one leg under himself and turning towards Dean. “God will have to come back, to deal with his sister, right? So maybe, we can ask him then.”

“You’re actually going to appeal to God, to get me a pass into Heaven?” Dean asks, realizing instantly that of course that’s exactly what his little brother will be doing.

Us, Dean, us. We need to go there together Otherwise it won’t be…” Sam trails off, leaving the obvious unsaid.

Dean feels a fierce joy well up deep inside, replacing the worry about the Big Empty and the Darkness and all the rest. Joy that Sam still wants that, a heaven that he shares with Dean. It makes him want to burst into song or something crazy like that. He settles for some words he usually wouldn’t say. “You’re right, it won’t be heaven unless we’re both there, together.”

The reaction Sam has to Dean’s unexpected words is something Dean can feel across the space dividing them. His brother releases and expands instantly, somehow taking up the entire space contained within the metal and glass of the Impala. Sam is wrapping himself around Dean as completely as he can manage safely. His face presses into the side of Dean’s neck, one arm around Dean’s shoulders, one low around his waist.  The hardness of Sam pressing into the side of his hip is what surprises Dean the most.

“You like that, huh, Sammy? Didn’t think the soul-mate thing was a turn-on, little brother,” Dean teases, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel as his desire increases to match Sam’s.

“Shut up, Dean,” Sam says, rearranging himself so quickly that Dean doesn’t realize what his brother is doing until he feels Sam’s hot breath bleeding through the fabric of his jeans.

Dean’s words completely fail him when Sam unzips and takes him out into the coolness of the air, engulfs him in the heat of his warm mouth. The mouth that said no to Lucifer, but the one that’s saying yes and more and now to Dean.  Dean’s head is spinning from the sudden desire, the blood rushing from his brain, making him so hard for Sam, so fast. All for Sam. Only for you.

Sam stops suckling for a moment and breathes out, “I know it’s all for me, Dean. Give it to me now.”

Sam’s command has Dean simultaneously pulling off the dark country road and thrusting up deeply into Sam’s throat. Just as the car comes to a complete stop in the gravel, he releases his foot off the brake and releases a hot flood into Sam. He goes limp against the headrest, one hand clutching in Sam’s hair, fingers spasming in rhythm with his final pulses. Sam makes a long, drawn-out production of licking him clean that almost has him getting hard again.

Sam tucks him back in carefully and sits up slowly, blinking like a startled owl in the light from the dashboard.  He reaches into the glovebox for some paper napkins and unzips his jeans. Dean un-clicks his seatbelt and pushes Sam’s hands and the napkins out of the way, uses his mouth to clean Sam up, returning the favor the best he can. Sam groans with pleasure at the teasing licks.

Dean finally sits up and pulls Sam into his arms, kissing him deeply. Their tastes mingle together into the familiar combination that they both make no secret of loving.  They kiss until the scent of sulfur and hellfire is gone, until all they can sense is each other again.

Sam moves back from their embrace, breathing heavy, but smiling wide, eyes twinkling in amusement. “Having an eternity of that is worthing asking God for a do-over, don’t you think?”

“Damn straight,” Dean laughs. He puts his seatbelt back on, checks the mirrors and takes off back onto the empty road.  The moon shines bright ahead of them, lighting the way home.

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I really liked the lead-up to the sexual part. Very real with Dean's pov. and of course i liked the sexiness too :D

Thank you very much, I'm so glad you like it.

*enthusiastic applause* Fabulous! A wonderful read packed with emotion and hotness! LOVED IT! :D

*takes a bashful bow* Thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

What a wonderful coda, with all the ingredients I adore! *happy sigh* Thank you so much, I absolutely loved it!

Aww, thank you so much. I'm so happy you enjoyed it.

I really love this idea of focusing on Sam's mouth as a mouth that said no to Lucifer and now, in a very different way, is saying yes yes yes to Dean. Perfect. <3333

I almost almost took out that line, because it was so strange to compare those two ways of looking at Sam's mouth. Butt it felt so right with the rest of it, I had to leave it in. So I'm really glad you picked it out as one you loved. Thank you!

I really enjoyed them talking about going to Heaven together, after they've just been in Hell together for the first (and hopefully ONLY) time. Cool to think of them negotiating with God when the time comes (hopefully not anytime soon!)

Loved this!

Thank you so much, I'm very glad you enjoyed the story. I also hope they never see Hell again, alone or separately. Negotiating with God just seemed like a thing that Sam would attempt. Especially to be able to share a heaven with Dean.

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