Sunset from Dean's place, formerly the Jorgensen Estate
It seemed like every time he turned around he was running into Will. Not that Sam minded, or that it was a problem because Will was kinda-sort his boyfriend, and beautiful, and funny and the sexiest thing on two legs in this town. Just ask Annie, or any of her girlfriends, they kept pushing the whole true love meant-to-be thing at him. Just because they were the only two young gay dudes in Sunrise Cove didn’t mean anything. But it kind of did. Because Sam knew he’d fallen for Will. Hard. And he couldn’t tell exactly, but he hoped that Will felt the same way.
Another afternoon ‘chance meeting’ in town led to an impromptu picnic dinner out on the back lawn at Will’s house. The whole interior of the enormous old house was in absolute chaos so they sat out on the unkempt, long grass on a scratchy red plaid blanket looking out over the choppy afternoon water. Sam hadn’t felt this settled and happy in a long time. He tried to catalog everything about this moment, the sun on his bare shoulders, the light breeze smelling of ocean salt keeping them cool, the taste of the micro-brew that Will insisted on buying at the market, the feel of Will’s bare shoulder against his own. How Will’s eyes and freckled broad shoulders made him feel so ridiculously safe and turned-on at the same time.
“You’re purring, Xander,”
“Shut up, dude. I’m happy,” Sam said, the only hesitation he had was how much he wanted to tell Will his real name. But not now, he didn’t want to break this moment between them.
“So, you purr when you’re happy, ’s good to know,” Will teased.
“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” Sam said, pouting even though he knew it was stupid.
Will leaned in then and brought their lips together, shockingly soft and gentle for how much it rocked Sam’s world. Sam kissed back with enthusiasm, his hands holding Will close so he couldn’t change his mind. They went without breath for as long as possible but then broke apart with hurried gasps.
“What was that for?” Sam asked with a small, hopeful grin.
“That pouty face of yours, I couldn’t resist when your lips looked like that,” Will admitted.
“Glad you didn’t. Resist, that is,” Sam said.
Will covered him then with his whole body laid out over Sam’s. Right there on the red plaid blanket, out under the setting sun, for the entire town to see if they happened to be sailing by. Sam melted up into Will’s heat and let himself come apart into all the broken pieces he’d been holding together ever since he’d moved here. Will held him, loved all the pieces and put him back together even better than he originally had been. Sam’s heart felt refilled, or re-made into something new, but somehow achingly familiar.
They were still lying on the blanket, most of their clothes still on, but their bodies entwined when the first stars came out. Neither of them knew what to say, but there wasn’t a need for words the second time Sam opened himself up to Will, bringing him into his body along with the cool of the summer evening. Will pounded into Sam in a rhythm that made Sam’s whole body shudder and jump with energy, delight and tension zinging up and down his spine with every thrust. He cried out with pleasure as he reached the pinnacle, clenching tightly to hold Will deep within his body.
Will was bundling him into the house the next thing he knew, rolling him down into the softest bed he’d ever felt in his life. He stretched and yawned like a cat, feeling the smooth luxury of the elegant sheets against his naked skin. Will stood in the bathroom doorway watching him with hooded eyes. Their third time that night began as Will slowly opened himself up under Sam’s watchful eyes. He rode Sam slowly at first, deliberate in his movements like he wanted to make it last as long as possible.
When Sam finally got too frustrated with the pace, he flipped them both over and pinned Will’s wrists above his head with one hand, the other sliding around Will’s hardness until he writhed so beautifully Sam was barely able to hold off coming right then and there.
Will’s eyes widened as he saw Sam’s near-loss of control. “Xan, you don’t have to stop. Want you to come in me. C’mon, make me yours.”
Sam couldn’t think of anything he wanted more then, except that he wanted to hear Will say his real name, wanted him to scream it out as he made him come again. “It’s Sam, my name, call me Sam, please.”
So Will did, calling out Sam’s name over and over again in a beautifully pleading voice, begging for more and more, until he came all over their bellies, clenching hard all around Sam, milking him for everything that was left.
A whispered, ‘Sam’ was the last thing he heard as he drifted off to sleep in Will’s arms feeling more complete and safer than he ever thought possible.
Sam never knew a thing about hunting or that his brother was still alive. That first night when John picked him up from the Roadhouse, John told him that his brother had died. Sam had barely had time to come to terms with that when he was dumped at Bobby’s a few days later and John left with no explanation. Sam didn’t know what to think. All he could do was cry for a while, because he had no Dean, no Dad, and Bobby was acting funny. Sam was just barely eight years old and everything he knew had changed in a week, he pulled into himself and survived on memories of Dean holding him close in the back seat of the Impala.
Seeing how far gone John was when he’d shown up with Sam and claiming that Dean had died, Bobby knew he owed it to both the Harvelles and both brothers to help Sam disappear permanently into another family. Bobby had a hard month or two on the run with Sam, but he had to stay hidden from John, and he had to find somewhere safe for Sam to live. He ended up placing him with the Hawkins out in Washington. He and Rufus had saved their family on a hunt ten years ago and so they owed him. They had a daughter, Annie who was just about Dean’s age, and Bobby thought it would be a good thing for Sam to at least have an older sibling. Not that she could ever replace Dean in Sam’s life, but there was no help for that. Dean was gone somewhere only the Harvelles knew.
Both he and the Harvelles hadn’t heard a peep from John so he was counting on it being safe for Sam to live as a Hawkins from there on out. As far as he knew, John had never even heard of them, because he and Rufus never talked about that case to other people. It was too painful to bring up their failures and it had been years before John had ever showed up at the Roadhouse the first time.
By the time Sam was left with the Hawkins, he was all cried out. He didn’t understand why Bobby had to leave him behind, so he stayed in his protective shell until Annie finally was able to break through to him with her persistent happiness. It was annoying and hard to ignore, so Sam tried his best to fit in with his new family, but it was hard to understand how different a normal life was from what his had been before. The Hawkins never went anywhere! They stayed put there on the Washington coast in a little town called Sunrise Cove and worked all the time in the family Oyster business.
Sam went off to second grade that fall as a Hawkins. He changed his whole name when the Hawkins adopted him that summer. Even his first name, which was inspired by his favorite character on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the show that Annie never missed an episode of and let him watch with her even though it was way too scary for him. Xander Hawkins was never a hunter, or a hunter’s kid, he had forgotten anything he had ever known about that and he nearly forgot he had an older brother. He felt guilty for being so happy at first, but then as he got a little older himself he realized that his long-dead brother would want him to be happy; that he’d always tried his best to make Sam happy. He didn’t miss his dad as much, and Bobby had told him that was okay, that his dad wasn’t ever coming back.
“I wish you’d tell me about your work sometime, Will,” Sam said. “Don’t you get tired of hearing about sustainable oyster production procedures from me?”
Will put down his oyster fork with a clatter and looked across the table at Sam. “Sam, it’s not something I do anymore. It’s complicated, the reasons I stopped, it’s all tangled up with why I moved here.”
Sam slid his hand across the table and stopped Will’s fidgeting hand, holding it tightly in his. “It’s okay, when you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be ready to listen. I’m sorry I pushed,” Sam said, pulling his hand away.
Will reached out and stopped him, tangling their fingers together. “I’m glad you did, I wouldn’t be here with you otherwise, right?”
Sam smiled at him then, suddenly realizing he’d never explained about his name and why it was Sam instead of Xander. But then Annie arrived with their soup and another round of beers which led to Will laughing so hard he turned beet red. It was so adorable Sam forgot all about it and just enjoyed being with this man that made him happier than anything had since he first met his new sister, Annie.
Xander—I’m still Sam Winchester too, no matter how far I bury him, he reminded himself every morning—did so well all through school that he won most of the awards and scholarships the town’s small high school had and had his pick of full-ride offers to several great universities. He chose Stanford since it was the closest one to Washington, he didn’t want to go all the way across the country to the other Ivy League schools that were on his list. Unfortunately, Jamie and Lynne Hawkins both died in a freak boat accident a year before he graduated. His big sister, Annie insisted that he finish up his degree even though he wanted to come home and stay home.
He finally did return to Sunrise Cove with Annie as she drove him back home after watching Sam graduate from Stanford. She helped him pack up his whole apartment and loaded it into the back of the Hawkins Oyster Company truck she had driven down to California. The whole way back home they talked about how he was going to put everything he’d learned in his environmental science/business degree program to help re-invigorate the family Oyster production business.
The Sea Harvest Festival was a barely disguised excuse for the entire town of Sunrise Cove to put down their work for a couple of days and celebrate another year of pulling a living out of the sea. It was a small town affair complete with oyster and corn roasts, a small boat parade in the harbor with the year’s Sea Maid Queen being crowned atop the largest ship festooned with colorful banners. The closing festivities was a town dance party in front of the library/civic center.
Sam paced in front of the Blue Mug coffee shop where they’d planned to meet at seven. It was now half past and Will wasn’t answering his texts or calls. Finally he heard running footsteps coming towards him along the dimly lit street, it had to be Will, everyone else was already at the town party. He was checking his hair in his reflection in the window when he was tackled by the runner, shoved straight through the plate glass into the tables and chairs. He hit the floor and skidded through the broken glass, feeling his palms go hot and wet. The man on top of him flipped him over onto his back. He screamed as the glass cut through his shirts into his back. Huge hands were around his throat and he struggled to push his attacker off of him.
His vision was darkening around the edges, everything going hazy when the tight hands were gone and so was the man. Sound came back to him and he heard a vicious fight going on towards the back of the cafe. The door to the back deck crashed open and the two figures moved through it as they struggled together. He got up slowly, trying not to put his hands down on any more glass and then ran when he heard Will’s screams.
“No, Dad! Please, stop! I didn’t know it was him, we didn’t know, I swear!” Will yelled.
“Dean, I promised you I’d kill him. It’s your fault, not mine! He’s an abomination, you know he is!” the large man shouted as he held Will headfirst over the railing.
Sam’s mind couldn’t process all the words fast enough, he knew there was something there that was important. Something that he should know. But all he cared about was saving the man he loved. He rushed at the man with the large cast iron frying pan from the cafe kitchen, slamming it into his skull with all his might. The man slumped to the deck almost instantly, crumpling like a deflated punch clown.
Sam heard a yelp and then a splash as Will hit the water down below the deck. He crouched down and checked the man’s pulse but wasn’t able to find one. He stood up and peered over the deck railing into the darkness of the water below hoping to see him. “Will? Will are you okay?” He heard splashing and then the sounds of someone climbing up the metal ladder. He rushed to open the gate and gathered Will into his arms.
But it wasn’t Will he was holding, it was Dean. “Dean?” he asked softly.
The man in his arms trembled so hard that Sam thought he’d shake apart. “It’s okay, Dean. I’ve got you. We’re okay.”
“Sammy, I didn’t know. You have to believe me, I never meant to—“ Dean trailed off, looking around the deck wildly for a moment and then collapsing against Sam’s chest.
“So that was our Dad, huh?” Sam asked, nodding his head towards the unmoving lump on the deck.
“Is he…dead?” Dean asked.
“Yeah. he is. God, Dean, I’m so sorry. I…I shouldn’t have hit him so hard. But I thought he was killing you, I couldn’t help myself because…” Sam found he couldn’t finish the sentence.
Dean held him tighter for a long moment where neither of them could breathe. “It’s okay, there is not a thing for you to be sorry for. He was batshit crazy, Sammy. He came here to kill you, just like he tried to kill Jo way back when. He made me promise to never see you again. Swore he’d know it if I ever did and come kill you wherever you were.”
“That makes so much more sense than anything Bobby ever told me. But I was just a kid, I didn’t really know.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you with me, Sammy. The Harvelles and Bobby, they were sure it’d be safer this way. I thought so too. I was just tryin’ to keep you safe, like I was supposed to.”
“You did, Dean. I am safe. I’m right here,” Sam said.
“You’re bleeding all over me though,” Dean said, let’s get something to wrap around your hands, okay?” Dean led Sam back into the cafe’s kitchen and found a stack of clean towels, he carefully wrapped them around Sam’s hand and tucked one in the back of his shirt where the bleeding was the worst.
Sam looked at him in the harsh kitchen light and saw the bruises around his neck. “He was choking you too, huh? Guess we match,” Sam said, trying to joke and grimacing.
“What do we tell people? How do we even begin to explain this, Sammy?”
“You keep saying my name like that,” Sam said.
“Now that I know that it’s you, it’s different,” Dean said.
“Does this mean you don’t want to…be with me any more?” Sam asked, heart sinking into his stomach as he saw Dean’s face squirm with pain.
“Can we just do that? Isn’t it, wrong and incest and all that?” Dean asked.
“I don’t care, do you? We had no freaking clue, Dean. None at all. And I…well, I love you. More than anything, more than I could love you as just my brother. You’re more than that to me. I mean, I believed you were dead all this time! I’m just the orphan boy that got adopted into the Hawkins family, I don’t have a brother, remember? He died!” Sam yelled, throwing his arms open in a frustrated gesture.
Dean was trying to smile, Sam could see all the emotions warring on his face and finally they shuttered down into a placid, calm mask. “We need to call the police, and we need to have our stories straight before they get here. The rest of it…we’ll talk later, okay? I promise, Sammy.”
“Call me Sam. I’m not Sammy anymore, okay? Just Sam, the man who loves you, remember that, no matter what happens next, okay?”
It was a long night with the police and the hospital and explaining their story about the unknown stranger coming out of nowhere attacking both of them and ending up dead on the deck of the Blue Mug. Everyone seemed to buy their explanations, even Annie did, until she saw how sad Sam was once they got home and she was helping him to bed.
“Okay, it’s just us now, out with it.”
“I can’t right now, Annie, let me sleep,” Sam mumbled, turning his face away into his pillow.
“Is it about you and Will? Are you guys okay?”
“Yeah, I don’t really know if there’s an ‘us guys’ anymore. Something about seeing me kill someone I guess,” Sam said, feeling dark and bitter inside all at once. He’d thought he was saving Dean’s life, was he supposed to just let him die, let his own father kill both of them?
“It’s probably just the shock of it all, give him some time,” Annie said, running her hand over the section of Sam’s un-bandaged hair she could reach.
Sam didn’t answer, he pretended to fall asleep until he actually did, dreaming all through the night of his father’s hands around his neck, until they changed into Dean’s holding him under the water. He just wanted to float there under the water forever where it was still and quiet. But something was tickling at the back of his neck. He swatted it away, but it came back. Finally he woke up enough to realize it was someone’s hot breath tickling the hairs on his neck.
“Sam, is this okay?” Dean whispered, his hand snaking under the waistband of Sam’s sleep pants.
Sam groaned instead of answering as Dean wrapped his hand solid and sure around Sam’s morning wood. He jacked him slowly, whispering in his ear the whole time about how beautiful Sam was when he came, how much he wanted to feel him come. Dean’s hand sped up and Sam’s hips moved back pressing his ass into Dean’s own hardness.
“Now, Sam, come now,” Dean said as he thrust and ground into Sam’s ass cheeks.
Sam came hard and fast, smiling as he felt Dean’s release soak through the back of his sleep pants. “So you changed your mind, huh?”
“Yeah. That okay with you?” Dean asked, burying his face in the nape of Sam’s neck.
Sam turned in Dean’s arms and kissed him deeply. “More than okay.”
Annie is so happy for them that she brings them a breakfast tray before heading into the restaurant to get prepped for lunch. “I’m happy for you guys. Will, this one has always been a handful, but he’s worth it.”
“Call me, Dean, okay Annie? William Bowes is my professional name, I’d rather go with the real deal, and that’s Dean Winchester if you don’t mind.”
Annie holds out her hand and shakes Dean’s up and down a few times. “Real pleased to meet ya, Dean Winchester.”
“And by the way, I’m back to going by Sam again,” Sam says, grinning up at his sister.
“Oh we’re back to that again, huh? Okay then, Sam and Dean, I’ll leave you two to get the breakfast dishes, right? See ya later!”
She was out the door in a flash before they could begin to answer. After they finished breakfast, Sam pulled the covers over both of them and then snuggled back in to get some more rest. They deserved it after the night of violence and revelations.
Before he fell all the way asleep he heard Dean whispering to him, “I love you too, Sammy, I always did.”
“I know Dean, me too,” said, kissing Dean’s temple and sighing into his hair. “I feel like I’m home again, finally.”
Dean didn’t say anything, just wrapped him up tighter and held him close, until their heartbeats slowed and the sound of the waves on the shore lulled them both back to sleep.
They live happily ever after and help Annie run the Hawkin’s Oyster Restaurant together, filling it with Dean’s photography which he continues to sell under the William Bowes name when he feels like it. Sam runs the oyster farm production and expands it with all kinds of new environmentally sound practices. He moves into Dean’s house a few months before they get married. And yes, Sam changes his last name back to Winchester.
Bobby and the Harvelles come to the wedding after a lot of heated phone conversations. It comes down to that they’re all just relieved that John is no longer a threat and that the boys are happy. It’s not something any of them would have chosen for them of course, but love is love wherever you can find it in their crazy world of hunters, demons and grief-mad fathers.
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