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The Wanting Comes In Waves

All Sam/Dean, All The Time

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fic: Marveille (Sam/Dean, Sam/Dean/Delphine NC-17) Part 2 of 7

Part 1

delphine/sam divider

That first night, Sam and Dean were too exhausted to do anything other than lie naked in each other’s arms. Sam fell asleep first because feeling Dean’s arms around him, hearing his familiar heartbeat and comforting warmth was the best sort of lullaby. He awakened a few hours later to the sounds of a woman’s terrified screams. He was up and out of their warm bed in a flash, grabbing his brother’s robe to cover his nakedness. Delphine’s door was closed, but thankfully not locked. Sam knocked and entered; she had the bedside lamp on, so he could see her thrashing on the bed as if she was being attacked, her face screwed up in terror and pain. Another shout from her had him sitting on the bed, holding her shoulders.

“Delphine, Delphine, wake up. It’s just a nightmare,” Sam said.

She shuddered under his hands, eyes blinking slowly open. “Sam?”

“Yeah, it’s just me. Are you okay?”

“Did I wake you? I’m so sorry,” Delphine said, sleep-slurred and adorable.

Sam stroked his hand over her hair, soothing and slow. “It’s okay, happens a lot around here. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Want to talk about it?”

“No, just..I can’t ask you,” Delphine trailed off.

“Shoot, go ahead, ask anything,” Sam said.

“I am so embarrassed to ask you. Would you stay with me, just until I fall asleep again?” Delphine asked.

“Of course. Please don’t feel bad for asking, both Dean and I have had nightmare issues over the years. Comes with the job,” Sam said, tightening the belt on his robe, then climbing onto the bed with her. He chose not to slip under the covers because he was naked under the robe, and it seemed like the last thing she needed to deal with on top of nightmares. He slid one arm under her pillow and pulled her to him with his other, spooning her from behind, hoping that she’d feel most protected this way. “That good?” Sam asked.

She murmured something unintelligible and very possibly in French in a sleepy voice and Sam felt her body relax against his. His thoughts turned to what Dean had said in the library over whisky, how he’d assumed that Sam would want to be with Delphine, and here he was a few hours later holding her in her bed. Too many memories of Dean’s sarcastic voice saying big brother’s always right played on a loop that lulled him to sleep.

Delphine woke up warm and comfortable, but feeling like someone was watching her. She opened her eyes and saw Dean standing in her open doorway. The look on his face was a curious mixture of sadness, relief and perhaps even jealousy. Although she couldn’t tell whether it was that Sam was in her bed, or that Dean himself was not. She smiled at him and gestured for Dean to come closer. He did so with real reluctance, as if he was hesitant to interrupt both of them.

“I had a nightmare, and Sam came to help me,” Delphine whispered. Dean’s eyes flicked between her face and the places where Sam was touching her. His eyes darkened with something she couldn’t name. He nodded and turned to leave, shoulders slumped in resignation. She fell back asleep wondering what happened to the last person who’d tried to come between these two men. To all appearances they seemed unbreakable, perfectly made for each other. But Dean’s reaction made her wonder; it certainly made for a more pleasant dream than her nightmare.

The next time she awoke, she was alone, and her door was closed. She stretched under the bedcovers and ran her hands over the silk fabric of the quilt. The beautiful lamp on the bedside table reflected colored shapes onto the ceiling that were lovely to spend time daydreaming about. She recalled her dream, a hazy image of waking up in a large bed between two men came back to her and shivered at the memory of the endless pleasures that she’d dreamed. It seemed impossible and she tried to forcibly shove it out of her mind as she readied herself to go find some breakfast. She knew it would be hard to keep something like that to herself if either of them caught wind of her imagined desires.

sam dean div11

“You looked very happy this morning, that’s all I’m sayin’, Sam,” Dean said, gesturing with the full coffee cup and sloshing a little onto the table between them.

Sam scowled and wiped at the splash of coffee with his napkin. “Dude, I woke up because she was screaming last night. She had a really bad nightmare, she asked me to stay with her until she fell asleep, and I guess I did too. It doesn’t mean anything, nothing happened between us.”

“Oh okay, it was just you being practically naked and holding her all night. Right, got it,” Dean shot a scowl back at Sam. “I told you last night, it’s okay with me if you go for it with her, Sam. It really is. Just be honest about it, don’t be a little bitch.”

“You are such a damn jerk sometimes, it’s like all those times I’ve told you I only have ever wanted you just don’t matter. You want to play matchmaker so badly, fine. Then I’ll just tell you the same thing, if you want to get something going with Delphine, I have no problem with it, go for it. She’s just your type, dude, knock-out beautiful, spirited, smart and someone who can keep you in line with just her words.”

Before Dean could do more than intensify his scowl they were both interrupted by a lovely, feline voice from the hallway.

“Gentlemen, good morning,” Delphine said. She was dressed in the clothes Sam had found for her in the Men of Letters supply room. Wool slacks that fit her very well, a man’s white oxford button-down shirt and a fuzzy grey wool sweater thrown over her shoulders. Her long dark hair was brushed and shiny, she looked perfect until you examined her eyes. She still looked a bit shell-shocked, but at least she was also amused, which meant she’d heard them basically fighting over her like two Neanderthals.

Sam stood up and pointed at the coffee maker. “We’ve got some coffee going, and Dean was about to make us some breakfast.”

“I was?” Dean asked with a teasing grin that lasted until he saw Sam’s scowl. “Sure, eggs coming up. How do you like yours, Delphine?”

“Fried or boiled, I do not have a preference,” Delphine answered turning to the incomprehensible coffee machine. What was this contraption?

“I’ll make some toast, we still have some of that whole-wheat bread in the freezer?” Sam asked.

Dean nodded and smiled at him from across the kitchen, one of those smiles that Dean didn’t realize quite how much they affected Sam, it was so damn fond, it practically shouted how besotted Dean was. He had no idea how much it made Sam’s heart happy to see that smile. Sam tried to send back the feeling with his own smile and Dean caught it, but he flicked his eyes to Delphine meaningfully. Sam’s brows furrowed as he wondered if Dean was embarrassed to be showing so much emotion in front of their guest or if he wanted Sam to cut it out and make a move on Delphine.

It was much too early for all this game playing, so Sam busied himself with finding the bread in the freezer and doling it out into the old-fashioned conveyor belt toaster-oven contraption. Dean had threatened to replace the thing with a modern toaster, saying it took up too much room and was going to burn the place down, but Sam had insisted on keeping it because it made the best toast he’d ever had. Perfect on both sides, the crusts never burned as long as you didn’t adjust the settings and kept it at number three in the middle.

Once he had the toast started, he noticed that Delphine still didn’t have a cup of coffee in her hands. He was at her side in a few steps, showing her how to use the modern coffee machine. So many things like this were going to be hard for her at first. But she made adorably ecstatic noises once she’d had her first sip of coffee, sitting at the table watching the two of them move around the kitchen.

“It is like watching a dance performance. You two in the kitchen are so well coordinated,” Delphine observed.

“Well, we’ve been at it for a lot of years,” Dean said.

“How long have you been together?” Delphine asked.

“Seems like our whole lives doesn’t it Sammy?” Dean asked with a mischievous grin. Sam’s eyebrows raised at Dean still emphasizing their ruse and not informing Delphine that they were brothers. It was too early for him to make an attempt at that though so he kept quiet.

“Pretty much, it’s been a lot of years,” Sam said, hoping that was vague enough. Once the truth came out, and he knew it would, at least he would be able to say he hadn’t overtly lied to her.

“I imagined it was a long-term relationship. You two are quite beautiful together,” Delphine said as she sipped at her coffee, eyes flicking back and forth between them with a mischievous curl to her lips.

Dean snorted and turned back to the stove and stirred the eggs. Sam saw the back of his neck flushing red with embarrassment. “Uh, thanks, not many people have said that to us,” Sam said, sipping at his own coffee.

“Is it not acceptable in your time?” Delphine asked, “For two men to be together?”

“It’s becoming more acceptable, gay marriage is now the law in our country, just this last year in fact,” Sam said.

“It really has taken that long, has it? I’m surprised at that, actually, but then, in my time, we were still dealing with a world gone mad with hating the Jews.”

“Antisemitism is still around, unfortunately, but it’s not socially acceptable in most places, thank goodness,” Sam answered.

“So am I to understand that you two are married?” Delphine asked.

“Us? No…uh, no we’re not,” Sam stammered and gulped his coffee. Dean turned from the stove and glared at Delphine with the spatula raised in the air.

Delphine met Dean’s glare and returned an apologetic smile. “I am so sorry to have offended you, please forgive me.”

Dean shrugged and turned back to stirring the eggs, leaving Sam to deal with this thorny issue. Sam thought about it, was it an issue? Well…not really thorny, or an issue, because they’d never talked about it. Not straight out like that anyway.

“It wasn’t offensive, it’s just not something we’ve had much opportunity to think about or discuss,” Sam said.

“For myself, I was not ever able to marry. It seemed too much of a risk because of the job, and the unending travel, which I am sure you would both understand.”

“That’s been our experience too, involving anyone else in our lives just doesn’t seem to work out,” Sam said.

Delphine’s brow furrowed and she slightly tilted her head. “My understanding was that the Men of Letters were encouraged to have a family, to produce legacies to carry on the work.”

“Well, we are legacies, but we weren’t exactly trained as official Men of Letters. Unfortunately all of them but one were dead by the time we even found out about the Letters a couple years ago,” Sam explained.

Delphine clutched her hands against her chest in a protective gesture. “Bon Dieu non! How can this be?”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, Delphine, I shouldn’t have just said it like that. I forgot they were your friends back then, in your time,” Sam said, feeling like a real jerk to have just laid all that horrible news out for her without warning.

She didn’t say anything, just kept shaking her head like she couldn’t believe the truth of Sam’s words.

“It’s a long story, but back in the fifties, a high-level demon named Abaddon infiltrated the group by possessing one of the members and she managed to kill everyone but one guy who gave us the key to this place. We’ve only been piecing together what the Letters really was as an organization by poking around in the files here.”

“This is unbelievable to me. Not only do I find myself in the wrong time, but the sole reason I am even here, the group I was a member of is gone as well. All those people, and after all those centuries of work, just gone,” Delphine said, still shaking her head with a lost look in her eyes.

“The information is here at least, I’ve been going through it and learning the cataloging system. We’ve found one other place where the Letters had supernatural things hidden and there’s probably more out there. It’s not all completely gone is what I’m saying. You being here is a big deal for us, maybe you can help us put together some of the puzzle pieces, show us what we’ve missed,” Sam said, holding one of Delphine’s hands on top of the table next to their empty coffee cups.

Dean approached the table with plates of eggs and toast and raised an eyebrow at their joined hands. Sam frowned at him to cut it out and released Delphine’s hand so they could eat.

“After we’re done, I’ll show you around, so you can see how far we’ve gotten on figuring out how to use the Men of Letter’s catalog,” Sam said.

“Sam’s got the whole thing worked out, it’s pretty amazing. I’ve been working on the storage rooms and what’s in all the boxes. There’s so much supernatural stuff locked up in this place, it gets almost boring after a while,” Dean said, with a mouthful of eggs.

“You’re what’s left of it all, then. Just you two,” Delphine said, pointing a finger that wavered between the two men.

“That’s us, end of the line I guess,” Dean said, scraping up the last of his eggs with a crust of toast.

“It must not end with you. It can’t, you mustn’t let it. You don’t understand the importance…” Delphine trailed off, her eyes going unfocused and blurred with tears.

Sam was at her side in a moment, pulling her up into a hug. “It’s okay, Delphine, I gotcha.”

“It won’t be, Sam. It won’t, unless you can pass this legacy on to someone, that’s the whole point of it,” she mumbled into his chest.

Dean made himself known on the other side of the room, clinking the breakfast dishes in the sink. Sam looked over Delphine’s shoulder at Dean, took in the body language and instantly saw that Dean was jealous. Something about the way his body was held, erect and careful, his eyes not meeting Sam’s. Sam turned his attention back to Delphine who was pushing him away.  She hurried down the hall and Sam heard her door close with a slam.

Sam came up behind Dean and looped his arms around Dean’s waist, holding his brother close. “I missed waking up with you this morning,” he murmured into the side of Dean’s neck.

Dean shrugged him off without saying anything, his shoulders going even tighter.

“Hey, remember what you said, Dean? You were all for me trying for something with her, right? That’s not what this was, not at all. But if you’re reacting all jealous like this just because I’m comforting someone that’s just lost everything, well you need to get over yourself,” Sam said, crossing his arms and waiting for Dean’s answer.

Dean finished the dishes in what seemed like slow-motion, but then he finally turned to look at Sam while he was drying his hands on the towel. “This is not me being jealous. Well, maybe a little, but not because you maybe want to be with her, because like I said, I’m totally okay with that. I guess I’m realizing I wish I had a chance at something like that, especially because of what she was talking about with the whole legacy thing.”

“You mean, you want to have a child with Delphine? Someone to pass the Letters to?”

“No, yes…I don’t know, maybe?” Dean answered, sounding deeply unsure of himself.

Dean’s answer hit him hard, it was so unexpected. Sam gave himself a moment to steady his voice. “Like I said before she came in this morning, I’ve only ever wanted to be with you, Dean. So she’s all yours I guess,” Sam said, trying to hide the sadness he felt at the thought of Dean truly wanting to be with someone else. They’d always tried to be flexible about that, women coming and going throughout all the time they’d been together. It never meant anything though, it was never long-term. And that’s what Delphine could be for Dean. Maybe he could find some happiness again with her. He searched Dean’s face and saw that his brother looked hopeful just at the idea. Sam turned to leave so that he wouldn’t screw this up for Dean before it even had a chance.

“Sammy!” Dean called after him. Sam shrank into himself a little and hurried to his room, closing the door behind him.  He hoped Dean would leave him be for now, so that he could cobble together a game face to try and wear in front of both of them.

delphine/dean divider

Dean followed Sam partway down the hall and stopped himself when he heard his brother’s door click closed, maybe even locked. He sagged against the wall and tried to think about how to get this across to Sam. He wasn’t understanding what Dean had been saying, obviously. And that part about never wanting to be with anyone but Dean was something he had tried to believe, but he couldn’t see how it was true based on their history.

The whole time they were growing up, his brother had always wanted a normal life, wife, family, stable home, the whole shebang. The one time Dean had gotten that with Lisa, he’d hated every moment of it. That’s why he knew trying for something with anyone that wasn’t in the life wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth the risk for the other person, and not worth the risk of having his heart broken again. He’d thought that he and Sam, being together was the end of the story, he really hadn’t considered trying another relationship again. He hadn’t wanted to, because he had Sam, and with the world so screwed up right now, it seemed pointless.

“Dean?” Delphine asked, impatience written in every line of her beautiful body, like she might have been trying to get his attention for a while.

He blinked slowly, coming out of his Sam-induced daze, focusing on the woman in front of him. “Hey, Delphine, what’s up?”

“You are having a fight with Sam then?”

“Nah, this is nothin’, you should see us when we really get going,” Dean said, standing up a little straighter, spreading his shoulders wider. He liked how much shorter she was than him, he’d forgotten how nice it was to view your partner from this angle. “Hey, would you wanna go out somewhere with me for dinner tonight? I can show you around the little town we’re near. It’s kinda stuck in the fifties, so hopefully it won’t be too crazy for you.”

“I would enjoy that. Will Sam be accompanying us?” Delphine asked.

“No, I think he needs a night off by himself to stew. You’ve caught us in the middle of a lot of big stuff, so we’re a little more to handle than usual. C’mon, I’ll make us some more coffee, and I’ll fill you in on the whole story we didn’t spill last night.” Dean headed back to the kitchen and busied himself with making another pot of coffee.

Delphine poked around at the various items on the kitchen’s open shelving, picking things up, examining them until she seemed satisfied as to what they were likely used for, then placing them back in the exact spot.

Dean grinned as he watched her feel her way around the room. “You can ask questions about all this stuff you don’t recognize if you need to, don’t feel weird about it. I’ve been in enough different times, that I know how nice it would be to have a translator that knows what’s going on and where I’m from.”

“Sam mentioned that you had both time-traveled before. What other times have you visited?” Delphine asked, perching on the edge of the kitchen table.

Dean stirred the coffee grounds in the French Press and set the lid on it to brew. Sam didn’t like coffee made this way, so usually they used the electric coffee pot, but he had a feeling their guest being French, would appreciate it. “Uh…let’s see, well I’ve been to the seventies, twice, Sam’s been once. That had to do with our parents and this demon named Azazel. I went to a version of the near future once, sent there by an angel named Zachariah who wanted us to start the Apocalypse. We both went to an alternative present where the Titanic hadn’t been sunk. That one was courtesy of our angel friend, Cas when he thought he was gonna make Heaven over all by himself.”

“This Cas, he sounds a bit unstable to me, from some of the things you have both mentioned.”

“Yeah, that’s one way to put it. He’s been watching humanity for most of our history, but he hasn’t learned as much as he probably should have by now. This latest thing he’s done though, saying yes to Lucifer, I still haven’t figured that one out.”

“It does seem very confusing. Were there any other times you’ve traveled to?”

“Oh yeah, Sam and I went back to eighteen-sixty-one, looking for some phoenix ash. That was also Cas powered. And I got zapped back to around your time, huh, just thought of that, it was nineteen-forty-four, and the god Chronos was the culprit for that one. Sam brought me back here with a spell he managed to dig up.”  Dean pushed down the top of the coffee press and then poured two cups. “You want milk or sugar?”

Delphine shook her head and accepted the steaming cup of black, rich coffee. “This is perfect, as good as any I have tasted in France. I am not sure what to say about all your traveling through time. Hearing it listed out so matter-of-factly like that is unexpected. I had of course read about time travel in the Letter’s files in France, but to me it sounded like a very rare thing.”

“I wasn’t bragging or anything, it’s just the lives we’ve led in the last few years.”

“I did not think you were bragging at all, Dean. It is just amazing to me, all those years, back and forth so many times. Angels, gods, it is all so hard to imagine.”

“Hah! Try livin’ it!” Dean chortled.

“I guess I have begun just that, have I not?” Delphine asked. “Do you have any idea why I’m alive and here? Because I know that I must have died on that sub, the Hand of God killed me, and I was dead, that would be the only reason the warding would have gone down so that your angel—oh no that’s not right, Lucifer was able to take you back here.”

“I have one hunch, but you’re probably not gonna like it. After Sam let Lucifer out of the cage he was locked in, down in Hell, well, there was a similar thing to when you used the Hand of God. At the time we thought it was the angel force of Lucifer escaping. But, the thing is, we should have been dead. Sam and I were right there when the whole place exploded, and then we just weren’t. We were on an airplane, watching a tower of that angel power or whatever the hell it was, shoot straight up into the sky.”

“If it was not Lucifer, then who or what could it have been?” Delphine asked.

“Personally, I think it was God, but don’t tell Sam that.”

“Why? Is he not a believer?” Delphine asked.

“No, it’s just the opposite. Sam is still a believer, always has been, even before we knew there were anything like angels. And the things we’ve seen, well it’s like God has left the building most of the time and we’re on our own while the angels and demons fight over us like a puppy chew-toy. That’s just it, Sam needs to believe in something and I don’t want him giving up on having that like I have.”

“You have given up on believing in God?” Delphine asked.

“I don’t know if I ever did, after our mom was burned up by a demon when I was four, it didn’t seem like anyone was watching over us, you know?”

“You were so young. I am very sorry, Dean,” Delphine said, taking his hand in her warm one.  “I am the same as you, I do not believe. It is not possible after the things I have witnessed during this war.”

“It’s bad, huh? When I was back there in forty-four, I was here in the US, in Chicago, so it wasn’t a war-zone situation. There were soldiers, enlisted guys in the streets, and recruiting posters, things on the radio, but all of that was far away from all the awful battlefield stuff.”

“Do give yourself a bit more credit, it sounds to me as if you and Sam have been fighting a war of sorts for quite a while now. Not with war machines and armies, but still very consequential. I believe you mentioned the Apocalypse, correct?”

Dean ducked his head and felt himself blush at her words. It was true, he did feel like a combat veteran sometimes. And he hadn’t even told her too much about his stint in Hell, or Sam’s for that matter. Plenty of time for that too, that and breaking the news that he and Sam are oh by the way, brothers.

“Want to see the cars we’ve got in our garage here?” Dean asked, knowing he was changing the subject, but needing to so badly he didn’t care how it came off to her.

“Yes, that sounds like a good change of pace from worrying about the supernatural and the divine.”

Dean led her down the stairs to the garage and flipped the bank of overhead lights on. He heard her gasp as she examined the row of classic vehicles. “Some of these are familiar to me, others must be more recent. Oh this looks very similar to the one that we had when I was a girl,” Delphine said, hurrying to the side of the long, dark blue Packard. “Tell me it still runs,” she pleaded.

Grinning wide at her big-eyed enthusiasm Dean opened the door for her so she could slide into the driver’s seat. “Yeah, of course it’s running. You have to understand, I spend a lot of my time down here while Sam’s researching. We can take this one for a spin tonight when we go out.”

“Will it not raise attention here? Would this car not be excessively eye-catching because it is so old?” Delphine asked, delicate hands clenched around the enormous steering wheel.

“You haven’t seen downtown on a Thursday night. There’s hardly anyone there to notice,” Dean chuckled.

“Where is this place? The bunker I mean, I had not thought to ask, and the mission I was on was purposefully vague,” Delphine asked.

“We are at the exact center of the continental United States of America, Lebanon, Kansas which is located about two hundred miles from the closest big city.”

“Two hundred miles, that is such a distance! Is there a map? I am not that well-versed in my knowledge of American cities.”

“Sure, of course,” Dean said, stepping away to reach into the Impala’s glove box and pull out a map of the USA. Delphine joined him as he unfolded it on top of her hood and poked a finger down on their approximate location. “See, here’s us, and over here is Kansas City.”

Delphine examined the map carefully. “I have never been here, to the United States. It is all just pictures from movies to me.”

“Same for me for France, only place I’ve ever been besides Canada and Mexico which don’t count since you can drive there, is Scotland and that was to dig up the bones of the King of Hell.”

“Everything is quite a story with you, Dean Winchester,” Delphine said, looking up into his eyes with the cocky smile he’d first seen back on the submarine.

“Like I said, I’m not just name-dropping to impress you or anything, it’s just the life we’ve been livin’.”

“And live it you have indeed.”

delphine divider

Later that night as she was preparing to go outside of the Bunker for the first time, Delphine reviewed the conversations she’d had with the two men guiding her through accepting being in the future. There was something about them that she couldn’t quite place. Some of the words they had used, perhaps it was not being a native English speaker, but Dean had clearly said: ‘our mother’ when he was speaking about her death. Which meant there was a sibling that hadn't been mentioned, which was strange; and Sam had said they were both Letters legacies, what were the chances that two men who were unrelated and untrained as legacies would find this place?

Was it possible they were brothers? She could see why they would not immediately volunteer that information if that were true. Most people would not react well to an incestuous relationship, so she found her own reaction curious. They were beautiful together, not just physically, but in the way they treated each other, clearly treasuring one another above everything else. If it was true, she found that she didn’t care, it was their business, and from the sounds of it they’d lived a very chaotic, terrifying life together. Imagining them together romantically though, well that was not something she’d say no to having a chance to confirm. Just the thought of it was definitely arousing, just in time for her outing with Dean, wonderful.

She promised herself she would be circumspect and allow them to tell her in their own time. And she would certainly not push the subject tonight. As close as she already felt with these two men, she did not know them well enough to predict either of their reactions. And she had already heard them arguing over who should ‘try for something with her’ which was somehow adorable. She promised herself that would be something she’d work on tonight, finding out what that meant in this day and age.

MOL Swirl

Part 3